Tuesday, 3 September 2013

Optophobia- the fear of opening one's eyes

My mother sits me down, her eyes so full of concern. She tells me that life is hard, things are always difficult, it’s an uphill battle. My heart aches as I look at her lined face and swollen eyes. I wonder how things can go so wrong, how someone can love you one day and forget your name the next. I put my cold hand on her warm one. She warns me to be careful, to guard my heart, to build walls, set defences for the heartbreak that will surely come.

For just the smallest of seconds I am afraid, I doubt myself, I distrust the way I feel so powerfully. I suddenly curse the way I love so uninhibitedly, so utterly and without reservation. I fear for the way I give my heart away without thinking twice.

She looks into my eyes and I swear she can see my fear because she smiles and gets up. I see the sadness she carries in every pore of her skin, in every beat of her heart. Before she leaves the room she tells me one last thing, the most important thing she has ever told me:


‘Nothing is ever easy…except in love. When you are in love, everything is easy.’

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