Thursday 18 July 2013

Autophobia - the fear of being alone

You come to me with your heart bruised purple. You slide down the wall to sit on the floor next to me. I make small talk, I try to make you laugh. You're my best friend, my secrets lay like a starry galaxy on your palms. Your words lay like the imprint of rain along my spine. 

You drum your fingers on your knee and I wish I could take up your hand, take up your heart. I ask you why you don't just find a new girl, a better one. You mumble something back, but I know why. It is a girl with hair that never lays flat and a laugh that's a little too loud, a heartless girl. She still rests an icy finger on your cheek.

What a fool, I think, what a fool, to have had you, to lace her fingers into your pulse, to drown in your eyes, to feel your heartbeat on her cheek, and to let you go. How can she live without your hands on her waist? How can she breathe love into another mans ear? How can she kiss with the same lips?

I look at you. You look at me. What has she done? How could she?

What have I done? How could I? 

I can't live without you. Take me back?

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